Ah, love! The very mention of it brings a flood of emotions with it. As a Young girl, I loved watching romantic movies and TV shows. The idea of love that was rooted in my mind was sourced from the romantic movies of Bollywood, Hollywood, and TV shows. At that time, I could not differentiate between what was toxic and what was pure love. However, today as I look back, I realize how stupid it was of me to idolize toxic and fictitious love stories.
Modern cinema and television have completely changed the concept of love, thus resulting in misleading perceptions. They have given us everything from sweeping (unrealistic) grand gestures to love triangles that could put a geometry book to shame.
Love is portrayed in a certain way which has an impact on the way we perceive it. Both television and films have offered us a reflection on our cultural values and ethics, and our idea of love is no exception. It has come to shape our perception of what love should look like. In this blog, we will explore this notion of love in modern cinema and television and delve into its impact on our lives.
Romanticizing Red Flags
The mere idea of ‘a bad boy falling in love with a good girl where the good girl is submissive’ ticks me off. A classic example of this is the Bollywood movie Kabir Singh (original in Telugu Arjun Reddy). Though the movie was applauded by many, it faced severe backlash. The movie tries to send a message to normalize inter-caste or inter-religion marriages. In an attempt to deliver such a wonderful message, the movie romanticized socially unacceptable behavior. There are a lot of red flags in the movie, such as claiming a woman without knowing her name, making the decisions for the female partner and not giving her freedom, forcing a woman to engage in coitus at knifepoint, and even beating a woman. The way such movies make abuse look like love is very disturbing.
The young generation, especially teenagers perceive love as shown in movies. Such movies lead to the wrong perception. The boy keeps on harassing the girl and the girl submits to such wrong behavior thinking it is love.
Setting Unrealistic Expectations
Who does not like a fairy tale? But are they real? Do I wait for my prince charming all my life when all the princes are idolizing toxic relationships? The answer is no, obvio!!
The movies often portray love at first sight. That the world stops when you fall in love and you see everything in slow motion. I mean come on! Be a little realistic! I have been in love and no the world did not stop for me, nor for my friends, and definitely not for my office deadlines.
Love is not always an instant feeling. You know a person; you like them and know them. From what I understand, it is a gradual process. We’re led to believe that love is all about chemistry and sparks fly immediately. This is not always the case, and it’s important to recognize that.
The grandiose portrayal of love leaves us with unrealistic expectations of what love should be. Big romantic gestures like flying across the country to declare your love or buying an extravagant gift to win back someone’s heart may seem endearing in movies and TV series, but these displays of love are not always realistic or even healthy.
In addition to the grandiose portrayal of love, modern TV shows and movies also create unrealistic standards of love. These depictions put pressure on real-life relationships to measure up to the same level of grandeur. Comparison of real-life relationships to fictional relationships is a recipe for disaster.
The impact of unrealistic standards on our relationships is significant. We may start to feel like our real relationships are disappointing because they don’t measure up to what we see on TV. Love triangles and quadrangles may seem exciting and dramatic, but in reality, it’s not always the case. These complicated relationships often end in traumatic heartbreak and trust issues.
Misleading Influence
Modern television affects our view of romance in several ways. The effect of media on our perception of gender roles is significant. Magazines and TV shows depict men and women in narrowly defined roles, perpetuating gender stereotypes. Even though modern Bollywood is continuously trying to break stereotypes, deeply rooted traditions and thoughts are hard to get out of people’s minds.
There becomes an invisible pressure inside us to be a perfect couple. An unknowingly knowing comparison starts in our mind between reality and fiction. While movies and TV shows portray “All’s well that ends well”, in our real world it is just the beginning. The girl starts comparing her partner to a fictional character from TV or a movie that she likes. She expects her partner to behave in exactly the way the fictional character is. When the partner fails to meet her expectations, the relationship starts to fail. This is also true for man to expect their partner in a certain way.
I asked many teenagers about their expectations of their future husband or wife. I was shocked to receive the specifics: like Devsena from Bahubali and Aditya Kashyap from Jab We Met. The list went quite long and it did not stop there. People even expect their partners to look a certain way, thanks to the unrealistic beauty standards for both men and women. But more on that later.
Conclusion
It’s essential to critically analyze TV depictions of love. The impact of modern television on future generations is significant, and we must ensure that they are exposed to proper depictions of love. Understanding love takes ages, and the source of learning really matters. If you are learning about love from a source that idolizes toxicity, you are getting yourself into a trauma from which you may never heal. Watching movies and TV shows for entertainment is okay, but idolizing the characters is not. Reel and real life are two worlds that cannot collide ever.
Hi Nikita, your observation on this topic is spot on. I agree with you that we need to critically analyze TV depiction on love and same goes for social media depiction on love as well..