There’s no denying the magic of Indian festivals. They bring a special kind of joy – vibrant decorations, delicious food, music, and endless family gatherings. Growing up, I used to look forward to festivals with so much excitement. The house would be buzzing with preparations, relatives dropping by, and endless rounds of sweets and savories being passed around.
But as I grew older, I started noticing things from a different perspective. As I watched my mother and later myself, I learned that behind all the sparkle, there was always a whirlwind of work, especially for the women in the house. When the responsibilities came to my shoulders, I then realized how much work falls on all the women during festivities.
Don’t get me wrong – I love our traditions. There’s something wonderful about how festivals bring families together, reminding us of our roots. They are moments when we pause our busy lives to reconnect with family, friends, and culture.
But, let’s be honest—there’s also a lot of pressure involved, isn’t there? And much of that responsibility tends to fall on the women of the house. Behind the scenes of every grand festival lies an immense amount of preparation: cleaning, cooking, hosting, managing guests, and making sure every Puja is performed just right.
That’s the conversation I want to start through this piece. I believe respecting traditions and cultural values is essential—it’s what gives these festivals their meaning. But, at the same time, it’s equally important to acknowledge that these celebrations can sometimes take a toll, both mentally and physically.
Emotional and Physical Load: More Than Just Rituals
The Invisible Labor of Festivals
If you’ve ever been part of a festive household, you know that festivals aren’t just about showing up in pretty clothes and enjoying the celebrations.
Think about it—there’s the never-ending cooking. We’re not just talking about one meal but a whole spread: snacks, sweets, main courses, desserts, and more. Then comes the cleaning. Whether it’s Diwali’s deep-clean ritual or general tidying up before guests arrive, the house needs to sparkle. Don’t forget the shopping—gifts, outfits, groceries, decorations—everything has to be bought, often with little help. Even the smallest details, like setting up the diyas or arranging flowers, take time and effort.
And while all this is happening, someone has to juggle the family’s budget to make sure the festival spending doesn’t go overboard.
It’s a lot. And the reality is, much of this work goes unnoticed because it’s just expected to happen—no one asks how it all comes together. It’s “invisible labor,” quietly carried out behind the scenes, often by the women of the family.
Mental Exhaustion from Unspoken Expectations
However, the physical tasks are just half the story. There’s also the mental load— the tasks keep popping up in your head even when you are resting.
When you are part of an Indian household, you are also showered with infinite taunts and some pretty high expectations during festivals. (All daughter-in-laws would agree with me on this!)
There’s also the added emotional stress of comparison. With social media flooded with glamorous festival photos, there’s this subtle pressure to keep up. Whether it’s dressing up in the perfect outfit, decorating the house just right, or putting together the most impressive meal, it can feel like a never-ending competition. And if things don’t turn out perfectly, it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed at being the ideal host, wife, or daughter-in-law. This leads to forming a negative self-image.
In the end, what starts as a joyful celebration can quickly become overwhelming, leaving many women physically drained and mentally exhausted. And this exhaustion often goes unacknowledged because, after all, “It’s a festival—you should be happy worshiping God by doing all this!” (Logic just died!)
Health Impacts Women May Experience
It’s easy to overlook the toll that festivals can take on our health because, after all, they’re supposed to be happy times, right? But for many women, the constant juggling of responsibilities—cooking, cleaning, hosting, and managing traditions—can push them toward physical and mental burnout. Let’s talk about some of the common health impacts women experience during festivals.
Physical Fatigue from Non-Stop Preparations
From dawn till late at night, there’s always something to do—whether it’s in the kitchen, managing guests, or finalizing last-minute shopping. All this running around with little to no breaks can lead to sheer exhaustion. The body simply doesn’t get enough time to recover, and by the time the festival is over, women often find themselves physically drained.
Sleep Deprivation Due to Late Nights and Early Mornings
During festivals, days tend to get stretched. Preparations often continue late into the night—think about all the sweets and snacks that need to be made. And before you know it, the next morning is here, and there’s more work waiting. With guests arriving early or rituals scheduled at specific times, sleep takes a backseat. This irregular routine can leave women sleep-deprived, affecting their energy levels and mood.
Anxiety and Burnout from Balancing Multiple Roles
Let’s not forget that many women today have full-time jobs, too. Balancing professional duties with festival preparations, family expectations, and social commitments can create a perfect storm for anxiety. The constant need to switch between roles—employee, cook, host, caregiver—can lead to emotional burnout. Over time, the mental load becomes too much to handle, leaving women feeling exhausted both mentally and physically.
Lack of Personal Space and Time for Self-Care
Extended family gatherings are wonderful, but they also mean that personal space can shrink to almost nothing. It’s not easy to find a quiet moment when you have a house full of people. The endless stream of visitors, combined with the need to be available for every little task, makes it difficult for women to take even a short break to relax or reset. This lack of downtime can quickly become overwhelming, leaving them mentally fatigued by the time the celebrations end.
Balancing Respect for Traditions with Self-Care
Finding the right balance between honoring cultural traditions and taking care of yourself isn’t easy, but it’s essential. Festivals are meant to be joyful, not draining. So, how do we ensure we respect traditions without compromising our well-being? Let’s explore a few ways women can embrace self-care during festive seasons.
Saying No Without Guilt
One of the hardest things to do during festivals is saying “no”—whether it’s to hosting yet another gathering or taking on additional responsibilities. But setting boundaries is crucial. It doesn’t make you any less respectful of traditions; it just means you value your health too.
It’s okay to say no to things that feel overwhelming. If certain rituals or tasks exhaust you, try to step back from them. Festivals are meaningful because of the joy they bring, not the number of things you tick off a to-do list.
Delegate tasks to family members. Often, women feel they have to manage everything on their own, but festivals are about community. Share the load—ask family members to pitch in with cooking, cleaning, or shopping. Delegating doesn’t make you any less capable; it brings everyone together.
Reimagining Traditions in a Healthier Way
There’s no rule that says festivals have to be celebrated on a grand scale for them to be meaningful. Sometimes, scaling down can make celebrations more enjoyable.
Opt for smaller, more intimate gatherings. Instead of trying to host large parties or events, focus on close family or friends. Smaller celebrations allow you to enjoy the moment without exhausting yourself.
Shift the focus from perfection to connection. Instead of stressing over the perfect decorations or elaborate meals, prioritize quality time with your loved ones. Rituals should be about bonding, not burdens. A cozy dinner or a heartfelt conversation can often be more memorable than a meticulously planned event.
Mindfulness and Well-being Tips During Festivals
Taking care of yourself during festivals isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. A few moments of mindfulness can make a world of difference when things get hectic. Here’s what I tried:
Step out for some fresh air or a short walk. Even 10-15 minutes of quiet time can help you reset mentally. If you enjoy meditation, try squeezing in a quick session before the day begins or in between activities.
Make rest a priority. Try to get enough sleep, even if it means stepping away from the chaos a bit early. Festivals often demand more energy than we realize, and rest is essential to recharge.
Stay hydrated and don’t skip meals. Amidst all the preparations, it’s easy to forget basic self-care. Keep a water bottle handy and make sure to eat something nourishing, even if it’s a quick snack on the go. I prefer glucose drinks to keep me active.
Watch something funny. This will lift up your mood, even though for a while.
Conclusion: It’s Okay to Celebrate Differently
Traditions aren’t meant to remain rigid—they evolve with time and adapt to the needs of individuals and families. Festivals are meant to bring joy, not exhaustion. If celebrating differently—whether by scaling down, setting boundaries, or sharing responsibilities—helps you enjoy the festivities, then that’s perfectly okay.
Ultimately, the essence of any festival lies in joy, connection, and gratitude. When we celebrate in ways that prioritize both tradition and well-being, we ensure that these moments stay joyful and sustainable. After all, it’s not about doing things perfectly but about creating beautiful memories that keep our traditions alive for generations to come.
Celebrate joyfully, celebrate healthily—and most importantly, celebrate in a way that feels right for you.